Is it more empowering to report to a boss at work, rather than a family and kids at home?

21 Responses to “Is it more empowering to report to a boss at work, rather than a family and kids at home?”

1. reddevilbloodymaryNovember 8th, 2009 at

   I feel empowered by the choices I have made with my husband. We both determined daycare was not an option, and since I earned less than he did, it made more sense for me to sacrifice my wage paying job in order to ensure no daycare for our babies.

   What we ended up doing when our first baby was 3 mos old was starting our own business, and I worked for the business from our home for four years until we finally got an office and hired an administrator. Now I work part-time for our business with my schedule based on the kid’s school, so I can always be home with them.

   My goofy son actually said he wanted to go to after school day care (because his friends go) and I told him, no silly, Mommy wants to be with you guys!

   I don’t know if I would call it more empowering to report to my home, husband and kids, but it is definitely the more responsible, loving, caring, and fulfilling choice for me. Knowing that my husband and I made the necessary changes and choices to make our priorities a reality is empowering! Being the boss is empowering! (lol)
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2. Damami2bursNovember 8th, 2009 at

   I agree with you while I have t work a 9-5 because we can not afford for me to be without my job due to medical insurance I would much rather be @ home with my daughter doing something than here @ work on yahoo answers hey but thats just me=)
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3. jo28November 8th, 2009 at

   Sometimes we dont get the option of choosing. I work full time and love my career, but at the same time I love my kids more and would rather be a stay at home mom..but being a single parent I cant.
   I consider the satisfaction of my kids much more rewarding, and I appreciate all the time we do have when I am not working.
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4. LisaNovember 8th, 2009 at

   I think it’s a very personal choice. If you find raising a family to be more empowering, then that’s probably the road you should eventually take. Others might find a job and a paycheck to be more empowering, and that is the road they should take.

   Personally, in a career that I love I would be doing more than just taking a home a paycheck. I would probably be helping other people and society at large, thus setting a good example for my children (should I ever have them) in my own way. And why do the kids need a nanny? Could their father not stay at home? Could you both work part-time and spend equal amounts of time with the kids? Could one of you work from home a few days a week?

   I think kids benefit from interacting with other children (not siblings), so a few days a week at daycare might not be such a horrible thing.

   But that’s my opinion. Luckily we all get our own choice on how we plan our family lives.
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5. pushtheweakNovember 8th, 2009 at

   I don’t report to my family, and "family values" is a neo-conservative catch phrase with a connotation that I find offensive. It’s used to define what a family is and what a family is not.

   In my opinion, the job of a stay at home parent can be noble and rewarding. Only that parent can decide whether it’s personally fulfilling.
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6. cad monkey 208November 8th, 2009 at

   Wow lioness! I think you are beautiful!
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7. politicallyincorrectNovember 8th, 2009 at

   I agree with you because I think investing your life into your kids is a better investment with far greater positive benefits than a paycheck. And after all, how many companies or bosses give a crap that you were even there the day after you quit. A job is temporary but a family is forever. This is not to knock moms who work since some simply need to in order to survive.
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8. casapullaNovember 9th, 2009 at

   Does a single, working mother have that choice? and it depends on the ages of the kids.

   While I think people moving away from their families, breaks down families more than they realize.. (wonder what happened to grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins looking after children?) I prefer nannies not to be used, if avoidable.

   It’s more empowering to have more money and more choices, all around — expecially for your children. It’s more rewarding to stay home, and roll all over a rug with a happy toddler laughing in your arms — then ripping some dweeb marketing guy a new one, and then commuting 2 hrs to see the kids for 30 mins. a day?
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9. dillon20007November 9th, 2009 at

   Well of course e the wife n kids or more important that’s the reason to work in the first place to make life easier for his beautiful wife n kids you were so special to have with him but no he shouldn’t have to kiss the bosses ass if that’s what you mean I don’t and never will n make good money, but as with any job there are sacrifices you have to make sometime n if your boss or I should say his boss doesn’t consider his side ever now and then and understands your needs and your husbands children’s needs every once in a while well screw the boss, n no I don’t find it "empowering " to report to my boss, I’m no better than the next person for ever one is special in there own way.
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10. robbief1999November 9th, 2009 at

    How could reporting to a "boss" (the very word means you are taking orders from them and have no power) be empowering?

    Life is short, raising your own kids should be the priority. You will never get their childhood years back again. If you give up that responsibility to strangers, you’ll wake up one day and find yourself confronted with angry teenagers that you can’t relate to as someone else was there for them when you weren’t. It makes sense.
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11. Blessed RainNovember 9th, 2009 at

    I am a Stay At Home Mama and as much as I love my two little children and I would never trade these moments for anything their is nothing empowering about being thrown up on, cleaning up spills messes or washing crayon off of walls.
    However it is much more rewarding then anything you could ever get from a boss or a pay check. When I tuck my babies in at night when they give me kisses and hugs and ask what we are doing tomorrow I am so happy that I can say that I will be there.
    So although one might make you empowered the other gives rewards beyond anything you can measure or scoff at.

    and as to what someone a long time ago asked me I am homeschooling my children the school system in my state is so below national standards its scary so I will have a full time at home job for the next 20 years.
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12. ByTheWayNovember 9th, 2009 at

    I have been working like a donkey since age 21 and never thought working and earning a living is YEMPOWERIN. But I am just a guy, a father and a husband and nothing else.
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13. SiriusNovember 9th, 2009 at

    It must necessarily depend on the individual and their own desires and values. Empowerment is always "personal," and cannot be assigned as a black and white issue. For some, perhaps both can be done if the need for work and family are of equal value. I did it one way with my first child, and the other way with my second (11 1/2 yrs later). I preferred being the primary influence at home, but it brought its own "imperfect" results, as did working away from home. One child is closer to me, while the other is stronger and able to maneuver the world better. As I review both histories, I think much of the outcome was framed by the personalities of each child. I found empowerment at the time in both situations, which indicates changes in myself over those years. The bottom line is that empowerment lies in the specific domain of the individual and her or his situation and preferences. I am Sirius
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14. bohemian_garnetNovember 9th, 2009 at

    I worked in the "conventional world" for many years. I was an office manager/surgical assistant to a doctor for 8 years as one of the conventional jobs I held (almost always worked in the medical field).

    Finally after many years though I followed my true passions. To live/work/own a permaculture farm. I am very happily married. My husband is by far the main wage earner. I will never again return to the world of working for someone else for a paycheck.

    I use to have a fairly prestigious job. I was in charge of all the staff, but the doctor. Everyone came to me for advice, and looked to me for their ques. The patients also looked up to me, since I was second in command during surgeries. I spent more one on one time with patients than the doctor, and they liked me, and looked forward to seeing me.

    Despite all the people that liked me, looked to me for advice, and took great comfort from me (patients during surgery), those 8 years don’t hold a candle to what I do now.

    Now I am in charge of hearth, home, and farm. My husband and I run the farm jointly…I couldn’t do it without him, nor he without me. The lion’s share of the decisions fall to me however, since I am the one here 24/7.

    My time, and my decisions are mine to make or do with as I please. Working within a marriage with a loving suportive spouse is vastly different than going to work for a paycheck and a boss one must answer too.

    Life is vastly more interesting, now that I have all the time I want to follow all of my passions.

    To me personally, being a stay home wife (with or without children) is vastly more empowering than going to work for a paycheck. However my empowerment does not come from "lording" over my husband. Most of my empowerment comes from being able to continue learning, reading, and studying where my passions lay.

    ~Garnet
    Homesteading/Farming over 20 years
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15. Rio MadeiraNovember 9th, 2009 at

    It would depend on which gives you, as an individual, more pleasure. I’ve always been more fulfilled by positive reviews from people who can affect my working life, rather than my personal life. Having a family is nice, but I wouldn’t find it fulfilling.

    Working doesn’t boil down to taking home a paycheck unless that’s all you want to work for. I think you should take pleasure in your career and see it as more than a source of income.
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16. HoneyNovember 9th, 2009 at

    I think that’s a personal choice. Our preference was not to have a lot of kids. We have one 8yr old son. The number of children you have make a difference in deciding to be a stay at home mom or get a job. When you have a number of children in different age ranges, you have to cater your schedule to accomodate all of your children. If you only have one child, once that child reaches school age, you’re no more a stay at home mom. You’re a housewife because you aren’t staying home to take care of your children, when your children aren’t at home. And unless you live in a mansion or a hotel, you shouldn’t be spending your day cleaning. It should only take a few hours, if you’re doing it every day.

    I worked all through my pregnancy. Once my son turned 13wks, I went back to work because being at home all day was drastically mundane and repetitive and I couldn’t hack the boredom.

    True, a newborn requires a lot of attention but my whole day wouldn’t be spent dealing with him. Outside of being attentive to him, much of my day involved cleaning the house, watching tv, and getting dinner started. Out of an 8hr day, my son slept a good 4-5hrs throughout the day. Except for an occasional peeking in on, a sleeping child doesn’t need much. So while my husband was out working all day, with the exception of his 1hr lunch and two 15 minutes breaks, I was at home watching Y&R and cooking shows- until my son awoke from his nap or needed a feeding/changing.

    Of course, as my son got older, more would have been required of me and the day wouldn’t have been as repetitive. However, I preferred that my son got to spend time around other children in an environment away from home. I ended up putting him in a nursery at my church- where I felt I could trust the leaders and teachers at the nursery. I worked half days at that point. I’d go to work, pick him up by 2pm, and have some quality time with him before his father got home.

    In my opinion, in my life, it is more rewarding to me to have a job- not just any job where I’m simply bringing in a pay check but a job I find enriching and in itself rewarding. As I child, I saw too many women use children as a crutch to not work or have someone take care of them; or even worse, have a whole bunch of children, have her husband (breadwinner) abandon the family or pass away, and become dependent on tax payers by collecting welfare. Being a mother is terrific and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But being a mother is not all there is to being a woman and I always had a bigger picture for myself than feeding babies and changing diapers. But again, that’s my choice.
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17. maybeNovember 9th, 2009 at

    What is most empowering is the ability each person has to _choose_ one or the other, or a combination of both.

    To the poster below: You DO have that choice – all you have to do is exercise it.
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18. kgl_mNovember 9th, 2009 at

    I wish that I, as a man, had that choice.
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19. bikerchickjillNovember 9th, 2009 at

    For more and more women, yes.

    The proof is the ever growing percentage of women who have careers (as opposed to just jobs) over the past forty years.
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20. tornwaxNovember 9th, 2009 at

    It depends. A wealthy philanthropist who does not want children could find their mission very empowering, with neither a boss nor a family.
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21. Babygirl SNovember 9th, 2009 at

    Being a good mom is very important to me,and more empowering!
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